Irmgarde Brown

I have now had several opportunities to chat with people who have read my book and I am gratified when they pick up on one of the core themes that is underneath the "miracle" story: self-discovery. Jane Freedle had no idea who she really was by the time of her husband's death. For most of her life, she had been under the thumb of two men in her life, her father and then her husband. 

She floundered for nearly three years after her husband's death  before coming out that infamous widow's fog. I am a widow too, but I was fortunate that I found a support system early on and was able to de-fog around the two year mark. But, like Jane, I have had to learn about who I am now. After 31 years of marriage, Mike and I had become a unit of sorts, sometimes with aggravation but also with love. We had our routines and we had our lives and our children. We knew who we were in this arrangement. 

But the death of a spouse breaks up that unit and there is no going back. Sometimes, the widow (or widower) feel guilty for making solo decisions or changing up the environment or letting go of some of the stuff. It's all part of figuring out who we are now. I tried to bring to Jane Freedle what I have understood about this process, and yes, it has included my faith. Please feel free to ask me questions about my self-discovery as well. If my journey story can help someone, I am grateful.