Here’s what scripture has to say to me today:
When my heart is weak,
I cry out to you from the very ends of the earth.
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I am. [Psalm 61:2, CEB]
I asked the Lord for a word as I feel so overwhelmed this morning. At work, we are moving into a new building and there is not a moment I am there that I am not pulled from one question to another, one concern to another, one dropped task to another, one solution to another. At home, a renovation project of the house I moved into last February has already presented some old house surprises like rotted wood and archaic wiring. My young adult children are entering the phase of adult problems (welcome to my world). My volunteering is asking for more of my hours and I’ve taken on a year commitment to the Hillsong Ministry School classes. I’m co-sharing a support group for widows and I’m supporting my daughter through the trials of single motherhood, her 6-month old living with me, and a deadbeat baby-daddy.
And so I sought the Lord for balance and was a little embarrassed by the references to “overwhelmed.” It’s not used lightly in biblical stories, it’s much more about life or death, it’s being crushed, it’s about fear and pain. My little life is self-imposed. My lack of balance has crept up onto me again and again by my own choice.
I tease my pastor about being A.D.D. and quite honestly, I’m not much better. I so enjoy novelty and new experiences, too often not counting the cost of living out those interests, pursuits, or circumstances for the distance. I tend to look at my calendar for white space, and fill it with obligation. Nothing new here.
I need to be overwhelmed by the Presence of God. Only then will I breathe easier, choose wisely, trust in the Now of Christ to sustain me in the daily.
There is no place to run except within.